I'm not exactly sure how to say this, but America owes me one giant thank you card for taking the time out of my weekend to see two of the worst movies of the last five years. If you all want to run out out to the local pharmacy and pick one up, or maybe have your overly creative wife make one for you that will be fine. Just see if you can throw in a couple of free movie tickets to try and replace the two I wasted this weekend.

After seeing The Dictator on Saturday afternoon, I returned to my normal routine and spent my Sunday morning in the theater watching What to Expect When You're Expecting. I feel like I need to explain my reasoning for actually going to see this one.

Reason #1: The cast looked somewhat intriguing. I really like Elizabeth Banks and Anna Kendrick. They have both played major roles in a couple of very good movies. Chris Rock and Cameron Diaz have both been great in the past, I was hoping for a Kevin Garnett/Tim Duncan 2012 Playoff performance out of them. Unfortunately these two wouldn't have advanced to the post season if this were part of the qualification process. I figured that watching Jennifer Lopez try and act for two hours was part of my trade off for seeing Brooklyn Decker in a bikini on a 30 foot screen. Turns out, it wasn't worth it. Decker was "pregnant" for most of the movie.

Reason #2: I really like popcorn and diet soda.

Reason #3: I like wearing sneakers. An odd reason you might think, but wearing dress shoes to work every day doesn't leave me with a lot of opportunities to grab a pair of fresh sneakers. Going to the movies is the perfect justification for purchasing more shoes. That makes sense in my head.

Reason #4: I enjoy watching the trailers before the feature presentation begins so I know what is coming out in the near future and hope that there are movies to look forward to. FYI... the trailer for This Is 40 looks superb.

Reason #5: I'm an idiot. Seriously, my wife warned me before going to The Dictator that it wasn't going to be any good, and when she told me she didn't want to see this movie, well let's just say the warning flags should have been a little more visible.

The ensemble romantic comedies need to be stopped in Hollywood. I know on paper it sounds like a good idea to have as many "big names" as you can get in a movie, but (sticking with the NBA Playoffs theme) don't these studios know that we'd rather watch cast that has chemistry and has the time for the characters to develop (San Antonio Spurs), rather than a bunch of actors who may be great individually but together they are over rated and over hyped (Miami Heat)?

Another example of why this doesn't work? I usually list the three top stars from a movie at the bottom of my reviews as listed on IMDB.com. The third "star" listed from this movie? J. Todd Smith who plays an interpreter in one scene and has a total of three lines. Even the fine folks at the internet's largest movie website thought the big names were so bad in this movie that they didn't want to list them as "stars".

There may have been some funny lines in this movie, but I was too busy hoping it would end to notice them. The only good part about this movie is it didn't make my decision to go and see The Dictator the worst decision I would make this weekend.

What to Expect When You're Expecting
Directed by: Kirk Jones
Written by: Shauna Cross, Heather Hach and Heidi Murkoff
Starring: Cameron Diaz, Elizabeth Banks and Chase Crawford
My Rating: 0.75/5
Would Gene Pick it?: NO!